Cool On The Exterior, Warm Within
Weird Ol Me
Sunday, March 12, 2006 @ 12:44 PM
I have not thought of myself as an extreme introvert but sometimes I suspect I might be so.
There are times when I can feel myself closing up from the world, like how a mimosa plant would shy away from touch..
Overcome by this feeling of despondence, or perhaps this need to be alone by myself, I would refrain from excessive contact with others. I've tried overcoming this internal barrier of mine, but I find that even if I make an extra effort to head out with friends, put up a facade of merriness and enjoyment.. everything still falls flat inside. Like a feeling of hollowness within and you are watching yourself interacting with others from a distance away.
And then after a while, you just give up on putting up this sham of yours and go into reticent mode.
But somehow, things do not get better even when you go off by yourself too.
I guess this is similar to situations when you meet an acquaintance on the street or in school and you know that both of you recognise each other. However, we will make no move to acknowledge each other's presence and pass on, as if strangers.
Weird, but this is me.
